A Divine Humor

I never thought I would be the one to cry when leaving home. I always gawked at “those people” but as irony would have it I became one of “those people”. I suspected leaving wouldn't actually hit me until I got to the airport. Well correction, lets rewind to when I left the store. At first I was doing fine, wearing my big boy panties and bearing it all with a smile. Then it hit like a freight train hitting a fire hydrant. When I started saying good bye to those closest to me. And for the next 45 minutes it just gushed and gushed and gushed.
The funny thing about leaving is there is such this climactic build up to saying good bye. Checking into your flight. Making your way to security. Finally facing your loved ones and saying good bye. Well after this dramatic build up, which should have a Hollywood soundtrack playing in the background. You finally reach the peak of the climax and then boom you have to sit and sit and sit … ohh did I mention sit? Then you are left to think. You think that you say good bye and you are magically there. You forget that with time changes and travel you won't be there for another day!
Like any good story that I tell it's had its fair share of drama, it always makes a story sound better! Well I was stupid to think that mother nature would let me have a pass of experiencing winter without any snow! Naturally on the day of departure we get a snow storm! But whatever divine being you believe in whether it be; God, Ala, Shiva, Darwin, etc. they have a hilarious sense of humor. The snow miraculously parted just in time, or so I thought. Everything was going smoothly until I entered Kennedy airspace. This is where divine humor comes and makes its grand debut! We were a mere 10 minutes away from the airport, coincidentally so where about 25 other planes. Naturally with my luck we were told to wait and wait and wait. After 35 minutes of aimlessly circling in the air, the captain came on and informed us that we may have to find another airport and make an emergency landing for fuel. Then miraculously we were given permission to land! Okay dodged a bullet or so I thought! Once landed we started taxiing to the gate. Suddenly we jolted to a park, and we sat there and sat and sat and sat. 25 minutes went by. Guess what we have no gate because things are so backed up planes can't leave their gates. Finally another 20 minutes went by and we were finally given a gate and started to taxi to the gate. In the meantime I was checking the status of my connection. That's odd I thought there is no plane leaving for Amsterdam at 8:00... hmm well I'll look at my itinerary, come to find out I can't read military time, my plane actually leaves at 18:00.. after doing “simple” math I realize that would be 6:00 when my flight leaves. Its currently 5:00. you can only imagine the creative words that popped into my head. Well after a dramatic departure from the plane and a mad dash to the shuttle and a hellish ordeal with my boarding pass or lack there of. I made it to my plane just in time! But wait there's more! As I boarded the plane I noticed something suspicious, my flight has three seats per row and three sections. Wouldn't you know I got seated smack dab in the middle of the middle row. But wait there's more! Not only that I had a smelly European who believed in showering once every 4 days on one side and a plump Long Islander who wanted to battle for the arm rest and naturally I won! After 3 hours into the flight. The only good thing about the flight is that it falls under the laws of The Netherlands and I can legally drink in the Netherlands and on top of it all it was ALL free, let's just say I got my tickets worth! I also think they thought I was an alcoholic as I was still drinking at 5:00 in the morning. But now I am in Amsterdam waiting for my plane. And the wifi at the airport is broken for some utterly ridiculous reason and I am merely writing a draft because I have nothing better to do. So when most of you read this I will be in England. And I’m sure knowing my life and the divine humor that accompanies it I will have more to add to the story. Until next time! Stay Classy America!